


Courage is not the absence of fear ( but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear)

by atearsarahjane



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-03-08 06:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18889420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atearsarahjane/pseuds/atearsarahjane
Summary: What if the ending of Brienne and Jamie wasn’t all it seemed.NOT abandoned, simply working on editing the final 11 chapters





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I know this is brief but I’ve been planning it in my head for two weeks. I just needed to get the first bit out before the last episode in case it somehow came true. *prays to the old gods and the new*
> 
> Unbetad and hastily written so I apologise for any mistakes

She stood frozen, tears streaming down her face as she watched Jamie ride away from her. The wind whipped around her, ice piercing her skin, the flimsy night gown she had tossed on doing little to shield her. A clang jolted her from her heartbreak, muscles tensing as her senses peaked.

 

Spinning she surveyed the area but came up empty.

 

‘Bloody birds.’ She shook herself, wiping the tears from her face and stomped back to their - her-quarters. Slamming the door she made her way into the place she’d found happiness and complete acceptance in a long time

 

Lowering herself into the chair by the fire, his chair until minutes before, she contemplated what had just happened.She smiled. Everything had gone as planned, the not so subtle spy had seen it all - had seen Jamie creep out, seen her confront him and his excuses, seen her heartbreak at his departure.

 

She just hoped her husband knew what he was doing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Brienne cursed her female hormones. All her life she had been tough, had denied herself romance and frills, had trained until she was a fierce warrior, but here she was crying again over her husband gone to fight in a war.

 

Their wedding was far from what they would have planned if the threat of war wasn't hanging over them- although both had spent not inconsiderable time in the North they still tended towards the Faith of the Seven, neither was in the finery befitting their station and birthright, and Brienne would have wanted her father to attend the long-awaited union of his wayward daughter. Yet here they stood in the Godswood - Catelyn’s Sept having been lost in the long night-, in distinctly northern garb with a tiny lion and sunbursts hastily etched on to their cloaks, sans anyone but Tyrion, Sansa and Pod. It had come as quite the shock when he had pulled her into their room a few days before the great expedition south and fallen to his knees before her, seemingly unaware of the still ice cold flagstones under him.

 

* * *

 

_'You know I love you Brienne, you are the best person I have ever met, and I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life showing my devotion to you. Let me be yours forever? Let me be your husband? Marry me?'_

_'Jamie!  I … what…don't say that unless you mean it.'_

_'Of course I mean it wench.'_

_'Why would you want to marry a toe-headed plank?'_

_'Forgive me, I was an arse and I was wrong. You are beautiful-' he held a hand to halt her protestation '- I won't condescend to you and say you are a beauty, not in the traditional sense at least. But your eyes are better than any sapphire, your hair is so unbelievably and unexpectedly soft, your figure is to die for, your smile lights up the darkest room. But more than that you are the kindest person I know, the most honest, the bravest. You are the best Knight I have ever met, you are an incredible mentor to Pod, you manage to tolerate Tyrion. You are beautiful Brienne.'_

_'You really do love me.'_

_'I do.'_

_'Okay. Let's get married then.'_

_'Fantastic, one quick favour?'_

 

* * *

 

Jamie had begged her to let them marry before Tyrion would ride south, they all knew survival was not a guarantee for anyone in the coming battles, and it was his wish that his brother may get the chance to bear witness to his proudest moment, he couldn’t conceive of marrying without him there. Brienne had understood and preparations began in haste. Sansa had been ecstatic when she found out - they had decided it keep it secret until everything was over but Brienne couldn't not tell her Lady, her friend, or Pod - although she had been somewhat wary of the grooms intentions until Brienne had allowed her to see them without the walls they erected when in company. By the end of the evening, Sansa had already begun work on their cloaks so they could both take the other under their protection. 

 

The ceremony had been brief, the disappearance of the 5 of them for too long would raise eyebrows. None of them were 100% sure it was legally binding as it had been a hodgepodge of new god traditions and old god ones. Their cloaks were both Stark originally but with the identical trims added for when they each cloaked the other. There was no Septon to oversee the proceedings, but they had decided to count that as part of the old gods aspect of the ceremony.

 

And that was that. Ser Jamie Lannister and Ser Lady Brienne Of Tarth were married.

 

Tyrion had left the next day, unable to resist one last dig about climbing mountains and how he hoped the next time he saw them a mini mountain was in progress. Brienne had been unable to look her husband in the eye for the best of the day, unable to resist imagining a babe in her arms with the same emerald twinkle.

 

Then came the raven.

 

They’d known it would likely come to this, that Cersei would refuse to surrender, and the unborn child could be harmed. Oh yes, Brienne knew all about her potential stepchild, of the stepchildren that had gone before. Jamie had cried when he spoke of Myrcella, granting him his dearest wish before dying in his arms, of returning from their meeting in the Riverlands to find the Sept destroyed and his baby boy dead from grief, even Joffrey had induced a tear as his father spoke of the adorable antics he would get up to before he became a sadistic monster. She couldn’t understand how the children could have come about, and tried not to think about it too closely, but there was no point ignoring what had gone before and it was time to look to the future. The expectant babe, if there even was one, even if Jamie wasn't really the father, deserved the chance to live.

 

They had debated whether to bring Sansa in on their plan, but she had proved invaluable to their manoeuvring. Years in Kings Landing, and under the tutelage of Littlefinger, had left her with a keen mind for subterfuge. It had been her idea for the semi-public informing of the news from the south and the breakup, aware that no matter how she tried there was sure to be the tendrils of Cersei in Winterfell, her eyes snapping to Jamie's own for a moment with a quirked eyebrow.

 

The night before he left Brienne cried for the first time since Renly died, their coupling had been desperate, neither knowing if this was their last night together. Finally, they had found happiness in the dark twisted worked they lived in and it could so easily be torn away from them. Both dreaded the fact they may have created a child who would lose their father, both hoped if Jamie died Brienne would have something left of him.

 

So now Jamie was on his way to Kings Landing to, at best, smooth talk Cersei into surrendering and staying into their custody until the babe was born (unlikely), at worst kill her before she could burn down the city to get her way (unsettlingly likely).

 

'Brienne' A hand fell on her shoulder. Brienne turned, jumping to her feet as she came face to face with Sansa.

 

'My lady!'

 

'How many times Ser, we are friends, you are family to me, you may call me Sansa. I do hope you don't mind me coming in, I did knock but there was no response even though I could see the light of the fire under the door.'

 

'Of course not m-Sansa. Please sit, how may I help you?' Time for the next deception to take place.

 

'I'm not here for me Brienne.'

 

'Oh?

 

'I heard from the night guard that Ser Jamie has taken off?' She passed Brienne a scrap of parchment. _Did he get off okay?_ Brienne nodded.

 

'He has, he said he had to go back to her.' _Thank you for your advice, there was someone there. They think he broke my heart to be by Cersei's side_

 

'I'm sorry.' _I saw someone lurking in the alcove by your room too._

 

'I'm not. I never expected it to last, he was always going to end up returning to her. I could never compete. He only came up North to fight the white walkers and got caught up in the post-battle celebrations. Now the threat is gone and reality set in.'

 

'You deserve better.' _I know how much you two love each other. I may not be a fan of his just yet, but I've never seen you smile as you do with him._

 

'Do I?' Sansa glared at Brienne, unable to tell if her friend was just a very good actor or if she truly doubted herself.

 

'Of course. But no matter. What is done is done.'

 

'I apologise if my service of you has been lacking these past weeks, I assure you I will no longer get distracted from my task.'

 

'You have never given anything but total dedication to me. Now it is long beyond the hour at which we should sleep.' _If you need to talk just find me._

 

'I'll see you back to your room.' _Thank you._

 

'I can manage the long back to the next room without my bodyguard but if it would satisfy you, I will allow you to watch from your doorway.'

 

'I…yes Sansa.' Brienne found herself pulled into a brief hug and a promise murmured into her chest.

 

'He'll be fine, he has something to come home for.' Brienne nodded, throwing the parchment  scraps onto the fire, and escorted her lady to the door.

 

'Goodnight Sansa.'

 

'Goodnight Brienne.'

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I kept writing and not posting. I have 14 chapters that I’m slowly finishing and editing. Also a subplot appeared later on that I now need to foreshadow so I’m not sure when the next update will happen. 
> 
> Anyhoo enjoy

‘Jamie!’ Brienne stumbled through the piles of rocks covering the cavern. She'd only seen Tyrion for a few moments before Grey Worm had hurried her along, but it was enough for her to discover his plan. The boat had still been there, along with a body though not the one she was looking for thank the seven. She'd been unable to get through from that side, the cave being blocked by rubble, her worries rising by the second. She had managed to find the other side of the rubble after many hours and several side trips to help those she found along the way. During her brief stay in Kings Landing years ago she had kept mostly to herself and not had much call for adventuring in case she never found her way back, now half rubble it was even harder to navigate. If it hadn't been for a timely run-in with Ser Davos, also on a mission to find hidden survivors, she'd likely have been at it for hours more.

 

Her heart stopped short as her eyes caught a dried pool of blood seeped through the rocks before her. ‘Oh, Seven Hells please no. Please don't be him, please don't be him, please don't be him…'

 

She fell to her knees, throwing rocks with abandon, uncaring for the way they tore at her fingers. A flash of gold caught her eye and she started to sob, clutching the mangled hand to her chest. Scared of what would greet her if she continued to search, she fell back onto her feet, a thousand futures that would now never happen, children who would never be born flashing before her eyes. Why had they wasted so much time being stubborn and prideful? If only she'd been brave enough to do as she'd so wanted and kissed him in that tent at Riverrun, if only she had turned back around after leaving, strode back in and pinned him against the table and put that stupid smug mouth to use or shoved him into one of the unnecessarily ostentatious chairs and mounted him. If only she had tried to persuade him to join her and Pod on their mission to find Sansa. If only she'd kissed him in the Harranhal baths or after he'd rescued her from the bear.

 

If only.

 

‘Oh Jaime, I loved you so much!’

 

‘Wife?’ She span, golden hand clattering to the floor.

 

‘Jaime?’

* * *

ONE WEEK EARLIER

He’d barely made it to be outskirts of the Crown lands before he was captured by ‘friendly forces’ and he couldn’t help but feel disheartened, although not surprised, when they immediately assumed the worst of him. Ned Stark’s bastard hadn’t even deigned to speak to him before judging his fate, like 'father' like 'son' he supposed.

 

As Tyrion slipped into his tent, he’d never been gladder that his brother had been witness to his marriage or he was sure to be punched no questions asked.

 

'Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slap you into the arms of the Seven.'

 

'Because I'm your favourite sibling?'

 

'That's like saying old age is your favourite way to be murdered, although if one were to include my good sister the balances are a lot more even. Speaking of our friendly neighbourhood giant, what the fuck are you doing here and not with her? How did they ever find you? Please tell me you remembered to take your hand off.' Their eyes fell to his clearly present hand.

 

'It was in my saddlebag, Robert's bastard made me a claw for riding, but they took it. Between you and I, this monstrosity is far more dangerous but that's northerners for you.'

 

'What. Are. You. Doing. Here?'

 

'Holidaying, it's far too cold up North.'

 

'Jaime.' He was struck in that moment just how old his baby brother had become, gone was the light-hearted imp and in his place stood a world-weary Hand. Now was not the time to be glib, not when (yet again) this may be the last time they ever saw each other. He turned serious, pulling his brother down to sit before him.

 

‘I have to try to save the child. There may not be one, and it may not be mine if there is, but it’s still our niece or nephew. It’s an innocent in all of this. If I can get to Cersei maybe I can talk her into surrendering, or maybe I can smuggle them out. Cersei is a monster, I see that now and it took me far too long. I helped her to become it. She must be stopped but the child shouldn't have to suffer for its mother's sins.'

 

‘You are a fool brother. She will not surrender, she will not allow her story to end by running away. She will fight until her very last breath. And, I’m genuinely sorry to tell you this, but when I saw her on the walls of Kings Landing, she didn’t look pregnant, certainly not to the extent she should be if it was yours. What’s your lady knight got to say about all of this? You have told her I hope?' Tyrion arched an eyebrow at him, and Jaime winced at the lack of belief his brother had in him. It was only to be expected he supposed, he had done such evil, hurt so many people, in Cersei's name. Even his own brother, the only man who had ever seen beyond the mask he put on, doubted his love for Brienne would be safe from the poison Cersei had left in him.

 

'She supports me, says if there’s a babe she will raise it as if it was her own if it's mine, or as an aunt if it's not.'

 

'Fuck me. You got yourself a good woman there.'

 

'I have. Tyrion, I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love my wife.' Despite the circumstances he couldn't fight the smile that graced his face as he thought upon his beloved. 'She’s everything. I wish I'd let myself love her years ago, I've wasted so much time.'

 

'I'm glad you finally found someone good enough for you.'

 

'No. She's better than I deserve.'

 

'You sell yourself short, and I should know about short. I can’t believe I’m doing this, if I had any sense, I’d leave you here and let you stay safe. Nevertheless-' He brandished a key.

 

'I won't forget this, I owe you.'

 

'Just don't die, that's the only repayment I will accept. Well…that and being your giant blonde childrens' favourite Uncle.'

 

'Baring Galladon Tarth coming back to life you're probably safe on that front.'

 

'If you don't think Podrick will be their Uncle you are sorely mistaken dear brother. I know Sansa, and Arya to a lesser extent, consider Brienne their third sister so if either of them marry there'll be more potential uncles in the mix.'

 

'Oh gods, I'm related to Starks.' Had the situation not been so dire Tyrion would have laughed at the palest shade of grey his brother had turned at the thought.

 

'You have been ever since Sansa was lumbered with me.'

 

'Okay oh gods I'm related through will not force.' They smiled. A commotion outside the tent brought them back to reality sharpish.

 

'You should go. Thank you for everything Jaime, I hope we both make it through this so I can kick your arse for being a selfless idiot when you could have stayed safe and not caused me yet more grey hairs.'

 

'I love you Tyrion.'

 

'I love you too Jaime.' They hugged sharply, neither wanting to let go, both knowing they must. Jaime pulled back and straightened up, unaware or uncaring for the tears streaming down his face.

 

'Let's go.'

 


End file.
